Self-esteem of women?
I have often wondered what exactly it is about feeling valuable. I realized that no one can give me the value other than myself.
But how do I determine my self-worth?
A sense of good self-worth is invaluable, especially for women who often face societal expectations and challenges. But not only! Realizing that our self-worth is defined by no one other than ourselves is an important step on the path to inner strength.
Women's self-esteem in relationships: the challenges of strong women
Even though women can be very strong in the professional world, they can sometimes be too weak when it comes to choosing their partner.
I know women who, precisely in the field of relationships, do not manage to live their self-worth, let alone define it! It is important to recognize that relationships have complex dynamics and many emotional and psychological factors influence them. Unconscious, transmitted female patterns and ancestral themes can also be partly responsible for the fact that even strong and independent women experience insecurities in relationships.
Additionally, past experiences and traumatic events can affect a woman's self-esteem and cause her to be insecure in relationships. Repeated negative experiences in the past can cause women to doubt themselves and have difficulty developing confidence in their own decisions and feelings.
You can learn the dance between the sexes
You can learn it with patience and love for yourself. You reflect and look closely to become aware of where the adjustment screw was that changed the dynamic.
I went through it and could feel how much of the old I was carrying into my new relationship.
The motto I set for myself was: “Do the opposite of what you normally do”.
It's like getting out of the usual zone, with the usual actions that ultimately always lead to the same result or trigger the same feelings in you.
An old habit is like a dress that you have always worn.
It fits.
You feel at home. But you also grow out of your clothes and can change into new clothes.
There is a contrasting difference between wearing sweatpants and wearing a classy dress with glitter and high heels.
You have to grow into it first. And you can also give yourself permission to be more playful.
Just try out new answers. I don't care about the dress. My aim is to make it clear that a new habit, a quality, a new choice of words, a different thought cannot be felt in advance. Because there is no experience in it.
You definitely need the courage for a new experience that can pull the solid ground from under your feet.
What is needed in healthy relationships is:
- self-acceptance
- Maintain self-respect
- Set boundaries
- Stand up for yourself
- self reflection
- Develop self-love
- communication
- patience
Self-esteem in relationships can be learned and developed.
Women can learn to communicate their own needs, set boundaries and stand up for themselves, including in their relationships. This often requires self-reflection, self-acceptance and a willingness to work on yourself. By appreciating ourselves and recognizing our own worth, we can live a fulfilling and authentic life that meets our own standards and dreams.
Self-perception: self, perceiving and taking
This word self-perception contains: self, perceiving and taking.
Before women jump into relationships, it is crucial that they first connect with themselves
and reflect on their self-perception. The way women perceive themselves can have a significant impact on how they act in relationships and how they are perceived by others.
- The thoughts a woman has about herself play a crucial role in her self-perception
- When a woman loves and accepts herself , she tends to feel happier, more satisfied, and more balanced.
- By valuing themselves, women can build strong and fulfilling relationships based on mutual respect, trust and support.
Self-esteem lives in relationships need standards
We need standards.
What works and what definitely doesn't work? If we ignore ourselves, we lose value. It is important for women to realize that self-worth is important not only from their own perspective, but also from their partner's perspective. When a woman oversteps herself or disregards her own standards, she loses value not only in her own eyes, but also in the eyes of her partner.
This is where the adjustment screw begins. Here the woman can practice expressing her standards and clearly maintaining her boundaries in every situation.
If she doesn't, she will start lying to herself.
Like the kind of inner dialogue: “Ok, once is not once.
It's not that bad... etc." If we take the example of "coming late", I could say that I don't like that and I don't want to be treated like that.
This is called communicating. The other person has to know that punctuality is really important to me. It is important that we take action when behavior is repeated. And one that brings clarity to others.
An example:
I was in Israel many years ago.
There I was very lucky to meet Dafne.
She took me everywhere with her and I was in wonderful hands in her circle of friends. One day she invited me to drive north to the country to see her sister. I was supposed to be with her on time, at 8 a.m. in the morning. I was so excited about it! But my teaching was the result of my tardiness. I was 15 minutes late. And she was already gone.
She was so clear in her actions.
That's all I needed to understand that Dafne values punctuality and lives her value. We must stay true to our words by taking actions.
A common trap women can fall into is sticking with a partner who doesn't treat them appropriately or neglects their needs. If a woman continually feels displaced and still wants to stay in the relationship, this can lead to a feeling of lack and a loss of self-worth.
The older I get, the clearer the mission is
When people get to know me, it is in my role as a teacher or stage actress.
In this comfort zone I am strong and confident and clear.
It's different in relationships. I was never able to fall back on a safe field of experience. A healer commented on my situation a long time ago like this: Ms. Nora, you don't have any good experiences in your plus account of good relationships... no wonder there’s nothing to fall back on.”
My path to emerging from toxic relationships was through processes that all brought me closer and closer to myself. I understood more and more about influences, culture (I am of German-Sicilian-Latvian descent), family histories, transmissions and the power of self-love.
I would never have thought that I, of all people, would be commenting on relationship skills.
It is probably the case that what is a deep wound becomes a miracle of strength.
The greatest strength for me was developing love for myself.
Today I pass on my experiences and accompany women into a life of joy, regardless of their situations.
I accompany you in strengthening your self-esteem and love for yourself. As a dancer and teacher in all body training, my approach is to activate the joy of life and self-love through dance and the body. As a dancer, actress and mentor for femininity, I like to take women onto their “life stage”. We can playfully let off steam in “roles” in order to have new experiences, go out of the comfort zone and grow into a new pleasure.
To work with me, I offer various options
- Free 3-day ONLINE workshops on all topics of femininity.
- 1:1 encounter: 5 days with me in Sicily by the sea, diving into the depths and emerging into a new attitude to life!
- In the Ore Mountains, near the forest and lake, I am giving a 4-day retreat for women.
- My desert trips to the Sahara Longing for Origins take place twice a year.
- Queen's Luxury Retreat: Through Morocco between self-knowledge, luxury, joy of life and the magic of the desert
- Sicily retreat: Dolce Vita and joy of life in beautiful Sicily by the sea
Wow dear Nora, what a statement, what an attitude. I enjoy reading the post with great pleasure. I work a lot on the topic of self-perception myself, but your understanding of it surprised me, at least taking the part. I'll just let that sink in now. I also really like the idea of self-esteem standards. Thank you for the different perspective you gave me with this post. Kind regards Sylvia